Our new and improved survey (and 10 times better than any other) answered!!

Thank you to Hot Husband and Hot Wife of Let's Talk About Sex Baby. Love the survey! This is much better than any others I've come across!!

So here are my answers... Tim- Take this survey too. I would be interested to see your thoughts.

Your blog is going on its fifth month. Do you see it changing much in the next 5-6 months?
Has it really been that long???
Yes. Tim and I are going to need to make a decision soon. So for better or for worse, this blog is going to be different. How different? I'm not sure. But this long-distance thing needs to end!

You’re currently in the process of moving. Is it for the better, and was it a move you planned for some time?
It was good and bad. We needed to make the move for a variety of reasons and hopefully down the road it will be for the good. But right now I am feeling the effects of separation and I'm pretty sad about it. We had planned on this happening for some time. Was it for the better? I hope so. I think so.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
Exactly 5 years from now. It will be Friday night and I get home from work early. Tim is in the kitchen making his famous chicken curry. He hands me a glass of wine. He has some music playing in the background and I leave him to finish dinner and head to the bedroom. I take a shower and come back to the kitchen just as he is setting the table. I want to go down on him before we eat. He declines... we are having guests over after dinner and he wants to save all his energy for them too.

Not too long ago, you two attended a swingers club. If confronted with the opportunity tonight, would you go to another one?
Sure! I liked the first one we went to. I was so nervous about it, but now looking back, I am so glad that we went! It was one of those experiences that brought me closer to finding out who I am as a sexual being.

Would you do anything differently than the first time?
Maybe not drink quite as much. And try to relax more and just enjoy the moment. And make sure Tim makes out with someone. He has seen me but I have not seen him make out with anyone else yet.

Red wine or white wine?
Red wine for me. I love Merlot. And Pinot Noir.

Where are you right now? Just kidding, we already knew because we’re looking in your window...
Wanna come in?

You two are at a bar. You go to the bathroom and when you return, an attractive member of the opposite sex is talking with the other.
You:
A. Take a seat a couple of stools down and observe
B. Barge in the conversation rudely, to get the point across that you are with them C. Casually join the conversation and see where it leads
Definitely C. I would never, ever do B. Maybe A depending on the circumstances. I would like to see Tim work his magic and flirt. But I would join in sooner or later.

Hot wife and I are going to be in your town for a night. We talk and decide to hang out. What would we do?
Hmmm... let's see. I would see if you wanted to have a drink at a cool little bar I know of. If we wanted to continue our evening of fun, I have drinks at home too. And then I'd probably want to take advantage of you.
:)

See any kids in the future?
No. Not for me. And of course, this could change, but right now I cannot see myself as a mother. I am scared to death to push a human being out of my hoo-hoo. It freaks me out way too much. If I really wanted children, I would adopt. But I don't think I have that maternal instinct. I'd make a much better aunt.

Any advice for couples just starting a blog?
Just be non-judgemental, honest, and open. You learn a lot from your partner in this medium. I don't have any negative thoughts on it... I am so, so glad that Tim suggested doing this. It has been great for our relationship.

Maude's Take on the Swing Club

About a year ago, Tim and I were lying in bed discussing fantasies. My biggest one is to be watched. Not necessarily having people stand around the bed as we go at it, but maybe to leave the blinds open one afternoon. Tim asked if I had ever been to a swing club. I hadn't. In fact, I had never wanted to go to one. It had negative connotations for me. Remember the infamous David Westerfield case? Well, in all honestly, that was the only time I had really ever heard of such places. But the more Tim and I talked about it, and the more Tim and I researched it, the more interested I became. It took a year before I could honestly say that, yes, I was ready.
Tim did most (if not all) the preparation work. He found a club near us, picked the date, and made sure that we had wine stocked in the house to ease our nerves. It took me a an entire bottle of wine, to be honest. I tried not to think about it at all. One, because I wanted to go through with it, and if I over analyzed it, I may not have. And two, because I had no idea what to expect.
We had a really nice dinner that night. We talked about what we were going to be okay with, and what we weren't. We decided to take it slow and if at any point either of us were uncomfortable we would leave. I was feeling good at this point. We finished dinner, and hopped into a cab.
The club was a club! I think I must have been expecting it to be someones house, or a sleazy dark hole in the wall, because I remember feeling a complete sense of relief walking in. At first we sat at a table towards the bar. It was nice! It was clean! It was classy! We had a few drinks (God, I needed it at this point) and watched the other couples. Everyone looked like we did. I know one of the main attractions of places like this is for there to be all different types of people. But I feel like for the most part, everyone was close to us in age.
At one point, Tim got up to use the bathroom, and a single guy approached me. He didn't speak English, and I didn't speak Spanish, so we both smiled and he returned to his seat. When Tim got back, I pointed him out (a little flattered, to be honest). Then everyone started migrating to a different room. Tim took me by the hand and we followed everyone else. The single guy from earlier was a bit ahead of us, and he grabbed my other hand as we passed him to say something else. This made me feel a little weird, since we had already established the fact that we couldn't communicate and because I was obviously with someone else (hand in hand and on a mission). Couples were allowed in 1 room and single people could peer over the half-wall. I shrugged my hand away from creepy single guy and entered the room. Tim and I sat on a bench and looked at everyone else. There were people having sex, but nothing too wild. In fact, no one was really even naked. I thought it was pretty cool. Tim and I made out a little bit, but we were both interested in 1 couple who moved to the center of the room on a large ottoman and were undressing themselves. I remember Tim joking that they must be attention whores and then how we both wanted to be where they were. Tim said that there was room for another couple, but I didn't want to intrude on them. But eventually we moved over and I sat next to them. They made room for us, smiling. Tim knelt between my legs and asked if he could lick me. I told him that of course he could, but that I wouldn't be able to come. Not with another couple so close that we could touch, and not with 10 single guys peering over the wall at us. He reached up my skirt and removed my panties. I lay back and closed my eyes. I felt him kiss my legs and move his way up to my clit. I felt hands on my tummy, slowly inching up my shirt, and thinking they were his, I reached down to hold them. But they were soft! And smooth! Oh my God! These are girl hands! I opened my eyes and turned my head towards the couple. She was looking at me and moved in to kiss me. I let her... I probably should have made eye contact with Tim first to make sure he was okay with this, but his head was under my skirt, and I was a little drunk. :) She was a beautiful girl but a horrible kisser. And she tasted like she just chain smoked 2 packs of camel unfiltered cigarettes. But, she was hot and she was feeling my boobs. Tim hit a good spot and I remember moaning in her mouth. At some point I looked at her and she smiled at me and I touched her breasts. She was so soft! I loved feeling her skin. Her boyfriend and her switched positions and he went to kiss me. He was a much better kisser. They switched positions again and Tim came up so he was laying on top of me. We kissed for awhile and the couple next to us finished up and got dressed. They left without saying anything to us. I'm not sure I wanted to talk to them... maybe that would have taken things to a level I was uncomfortable with. I'm not sure. As we were getting ready to leave, one of the bouncers came up to us and said that we really put on a good show. I wouldn't know... I kept my eyes closed for most of the time. I was still so nervous!
I really didn't expect things to go as far as they did. All I wanted was to see naked people and make out with my boyfriend. Tim and I talked about it extensively the next day and are on the same page with everything that happened. It was incredibly hot and sexy and we loved it. But this was a HUGE step for me and for us. I'm still going over it in my mind trying to figure it out. Is this a lifestyle I want for myself? It's probably the former Catholic child inside of me telling me to feel guilty about everything. But who knows? This is the beginning of something for us and I am embracing it. I'd be interested in trying it again, now that I know a little of what to expect.

Swing Club, Part 2

Sorry for the delay. To learn a bit about our mindset going into this adventure, check out part one.

Okay, back to the events of this past Friday night. And I apologize if the description is too detailed. I suppose if we do this type of thing several (or many) more times it will become more familiar, but since this is new to us, it's kind of a big deal. So if you're a newbie like us, maybe you can relate. And if you're a seasoned swing club veteran, perhaps your first time was a little like this.

So last Wednesday we decided that we were comfortable with the notion of going to a swing club. We checked out the websites of some local spots and decided on one that looked the most appealing. It seems that none of the clubs around here have couples-only nights, something that I personally would have preferred, but it wasn't mandatory. As long as there weren't swarms of pushy single men circling like vultures, we felt that it would probably be okay. While we weren't going to the club in order to play with other people, we both thought it would be very hot to see other people having sex, and possibly for others to see/watch us playing together. One of our mutual fantasies is to have sex in the same room or on the same bed as another couple, or couples. Beyond that, I don't think either of us really knew what we wanted to happen. Mainly, we just wanted each other to be comfortable. It goes without saying, but knowing that we could just walk out at any point was reassuring.

We began the night at home with a couple glasses of wine to ease our trepidation. After showering and making ourselves look pretty, we went out for dinner at a little restaurant right down the street. Boundaries for the evening had not yet been discussed, so we began talking about comfort levels. Maude gave me permission to kiss others if I felt so inclined. I had no problem with her kissing women, but I requested that we both agree before she kissed another guy. I wasn't too worried about feeling jealous if she made out with a man (though I wasn't 100% sure that I'd be comfortable, either), but I was a bit concerned that some weird, disrespectful dude might assume that he had a green light to do anything he wanted once his lips touched hers. If a guy seemed courteous, it was (hopefully going to be) fine by me. As I've mentioned before, watching Maude kiss another guy is one of those things I have fantasized about but have wondered how I'd feel if such a situation actually occurred.

Basically, kissing and stuff were okay, but we wanted to make sure that each other was comfortable with anything beyond that.

Following dinner we hopped in a cab and went to the club. After we got dropped off we accidentally walked right past the club, on the other side of the street. I was expecting to see a sign or neon lights or something like that, but instead it was a nondescript building in a neighborhood that was quiet except for a few passing cars. I had even mistaken the doormen for a couple guys chilling out on the front step of their building. Once they saw our confused selves walking toward them for the second time, they smiled and opened the door for us. We went up a stairwell and reached the woman who was collecting entrance fees. Couples pay no cover charge during the first hour, so we were waved through into the dimly lit main area of the club. There was a bar, two small stages separated by a dance floor, and there were tables and couches spread around the room.

When we sat at one of the tables, a woman approached and asked if was our first time there. She explained to us that there was to be a strip show in an hour and a half, and after the show the play rooms would be open. Our hostess pointed past the dance floor and told us that there was a room for anyone to play in (i.e., single males) and a second room reserved for couples. I was glad to hear there would be a place that only had couples.

We had a couple drinks and discretely tried to observe other people in the club. The bar was behind us and from what I could tell, it was populated by the single males in attendance. Some of the couples were kissy, lovey-dovey types, while one couple in particular looked like they were on their first date. Ironically, they were also the only ones on the dance floor. It was interesting watching them. The woman was clearly the one calling the shots. The guy basically kept shifting himself so that he was always facing her, while she seemed to be in her own little world, maybe just concentrating on the music and enjoying all the eyes that were on her since no one else had the balls to start dancing yet. I got the feeling that if the guy had returned to their table, she wouldn't have noticed or even particularly cared.

At one point I went to the men's room, and when I came back Maude told me that she had made a "boyfriend," and she pointed him out, a guy about our age with a shaved head. I guess he saw me head to the bathroom and wanted to introduce himself to her. We were sort of joking about it a little bit. I was actually a little encouraged that Maude didn't feel too freaked out about it. Not that we were going to be playing with single guys, but it could have been an uncomfortable situation considering it was her first time in a swing club.

Eventually the strip show started. Turns out it was more of a weak imitation of a strip show than an actual one, and certainly a far cry from the images on the website which were one of the factors we chose to attend this instead of others. Anyway, by now more people were dancing and couples had started heading to the play area. After a while Maude and I decided to see what was going on back there. We crossed the dance floor and passed the single guys who had gathered by the couples' play room. While you had to be a couple to actually enter this room, its wall was only about 5 feet tall, so a whole gallery of single guys was there watching the pairs go at it. I should clarify that it wasn't really what I'd call a room; it was more of an adult playpen with men's faces lining the top of one wall.

The "room" had benches along the walls and in the center there was a thing that looked like a cross between an ottoman and a mattress. It (the ottoman/mattress thing) was probably 5'x5', and aside from that, there was nowhere else in the room to lay down. There were maybe six or seven couples fucking on the wall benches, and it seemed that each of them was doing it in the "guy-sits-down-and-girl-straddles-him-and-rides-him" position (If you can't tell, I have no idea what that position is called.). One of the things I had been most anxious to see was lots of nudity, but there wasn't too much of it going on in here. Men's pants were around their ankles and they hadn't taken off their shirts. The girls had hiked up their skirts so they could ride the guys, and, like the men, they were not topless. To be honest, I was slightly disappointed by the overall lack of skin, but it's something that I couldn't put my finger on until I thought about it the next day.

Maude and I took a seat on one of the benches and started kissing and watching the other people play. Then, the couple next to us got on the mattress in the middle of the room and really started going at it. Now that's what we wanted to see! I thought it was the same woman who had been the first on the dance floor, and her attention-getting demeanor was similar. But she wasn't with the guy she had been dancing with earlier. So maybe it wasn't her, I don't know. Anyway, these two people were undressing and kissing each other. At one point she started kissing another woman next to the mattress who was getting fucked from behind in a standing position. I thought that was really hot.

Maude wanted us to play on the mattress as well (she loves the thought of being watched), but she felt a little shy about squeezing us in there because the other couple was using the whole mattress. Before we made the move she asked me for an Altoid mint. With a kiss, I passed her the one I had just popped in my mouth. She beamed, which in turn put a smile on my face.

We went to the mattress and Maude sat down and laid back. The woman was more than happy to make room for us. I moved so I was kneeling on the floor between Maude's legs, pushed her skirt up, removed her panties, and started licking her clit. I think I also took off my clothes while going down on her (I'm a multi-tasker!). The other couple was also engaged in oral, with the woman on all fours and the guy licking her from behind. Next thing I knew, the woman moved so her head was over Maude's and they started kissing. I was like, "Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Is this really happening?! Is she seriously making out with a woman?" They cradled each other's head as they kissed, and it seemed like the girl wanted to devour Maude. She groped Maude's now-exposed breasts and began licking them. I was watching this as best I could with my face was buried in Maude's pussy, but I couldn't see everything from my vantage point. Then the guy reached over and started feeling and sucking Maude's tits. I remember asking myself how I felt about that. If Maude was okay with it, so was I. But if she showed the slightest unease, I was ready to calmly but sternly guide his hands back to his own body.

I didn't find out until later, but while I was tongue-fucking Maude, she was making out with the guy. I wish I had seen that because I don't know if it would have been more strange to see him sucking her breasts or kissing her. It's interesting how the act of kissing can be either mundane (e.g., when kissing a random person at a bar) or intensely personal (e.g., when saying "I love you" for the first time), depending on the situation. Anyway, it didn't bother me to find out that they had kissed. She assumed that I had made out with the other woman, but I hadn't. It's not that I didn't want to, because I did. But I've always been one to wait until it's clear that a girl wants to kiss before I lean in. I've seen plenty of guys look like jerks when they incorrectly assume that girls want to make out with them, whether it's a result of misreading body language or just sheer arrogance. But yes, I would have enjoyed making out with her.

After a while, I heard Maude moaning like she was coming. I think it really turned the other woman on, because I saw her look at Maude and she made some sounds of her own. The guy started fucking her doggy-style and then he finger-fucked her from behind. The whole scene was different from anything I had witnessed before. I was really, really turned on, but I was finding it a bit difficult to keep an erection. Maybe it was because there was so much going on around us. Maybe it was because of the guys who were watching all the action from outside the couples area. In any event, I felt better when Maude told me that she hadn't come earlier and that she felt much the same way I did - excited but a little intimidated. I alternated between giving her head and kissing her and playing with her breasts. I don't know if the guy next to us came, but they started getting dressed after quite a while and they left. We suddenly realized that we were the last customers in the club and decided to head out.

When we were getting dressed, we noticed that some of our clothing was wet. A little uncomfortable about putting on clothes with splotches of unidentified fluids/liquids, I chose to carry by boxers and t-shirt with me, but as we were leaving I noticed two cups that had been knocked over right by where my clothes had been piled up. We were both hungry by this point so we took a cab to this 24-hour hamburger joint near our apartment.

As we got out of the taxi, I heard somebody shout to us. It was one of our friends who was stopping by for a late-night burger. Neither of us was too keen on seeing any acquaintances as we returned from a swing club, so that was bad enough. But I suddenly remembered the clothing items in my hands. Carrying around my undershirt wasn't a huge problem; I could say I took it off because I was hot or something. But I was also holding my fucking underwear in my hands. How do you explain that? "Why am I carrying my boxers? Gee, it's funny you should ask. See, um, we passed a church that was, uhh, having a clothing drive and I felt like I should help them out so I took off my underwear right there in front of the nice church people. But, um, they were only accepting clean clothes, so I've just been carrying them around with me since then. That's totally what happened. Go ask the deacon if you don't believe me." It turned out that our friend was coming from a bar where he had been drinking lots of beer and several shots. He probably wouldn't have noticed if I had been totally naked. That's how I reassured myself the next morning, anyway.

When we got into bed I pounced on Maude. She likes it when I attack her like that. We were both ridiculously horny (gee, wonder why?) and it wasn't long before I felt her wet pussy spasming all over my cock. That sent me over the edge and I erupted inside her, my thrusts powered by the image of Maude kissing another girl.

When I awoke the next morning and recounted the previous night's adventure, I was glad we did it. We talked about things we liked and things we would have changed, but overall I have to say it was a great first experience. I'm very proud of us for taking that step and now I am even more excited and more confident about all the possibilities we can explore together.

Swing Club, Part 1

Okay, we have some very big news to share. Last night Maude and I took a huge step in our sexual exploration - we went to a swingers club! But before I talk about that, I'd like to give a little background info.

Going to a swing club is something that we've talked about doing for many months but have waited to make sure we are both ready and are able to handle it. Once, last year, we had planned to go to a club but decided against it the day of the event. I think that was a good call. Since then, there are several things we've wanted to try (which we will write about) via Craigslist, bars, swinger websites, etc., but nothing crazy has really panned out because we don't want to move too fast. It's better to wait than than to risk ruining a night and a fantasy.

Another reason we wanted to try a swingers club rather than look for people online is that, in the past, the whole build-up to meeting people face-to-face has been more than a little intimidating for Maude and me. About four months ago we contacted a guy through Craigslist. He seemed genuinely nice and he wanted to try many things that we, too, are interested in. But the butterflies in our stomachs proved to be a bit too much for us and we didn't meet him. I am sure it's just a matter of us being newbies to that type of thing. Once the first time is out of the way — meeting someone in real life after exchanging emails — I don't think it would be nearly as intimidating to do again with other people. I know it might sound strange, but this is similar to how I felt about having sex for the first time. I had invested so much curiosity, interest, expectation, insecurity, and other felings into the actual act of intercourse that I was really apprehensive about trying it. It was like I wanted to have sex, but I also wanted to retain my virginity to some extent. I guess sometimes I build things up too much in my own mind.

It would be fantastic to randomly start talking to someone at a bar who happens to have similar interests and fantasies, chat the night away, and maybe take them home and see what happens. The spontaneity of an unforseen scenario like that wouldn't give us enough time to get nervous. But since we're not mind readers and since I've never seen a couple walking around with matching shirts that say, "Hello, we are friendly and sexually open-minded. Would you like to meet for a coffee?," it seems like a good place to "randomly" bump into such people would be a swingers club.

I should say that I had been to a swingers club once before, three years ago, with my ex-girlfriend. I think we may have gone before we were ready, because we never went again and we didn't talk about it a whole lot afterward. I didn't get naked so it was sort of a low-key experience, though I did see plenty of other peoples' bum-bums, pee-pees and boobies. Sorry, I'll try to refrain from referring to body parts as if I'm a toddler.

This post is longer than I had originally planned, so I will stop here and continue with a description of last night in my next post. Sorry, I'm not trying to be suspenseful. Honestly. The truth of the matter is that Maude and I need to go to the store right now and then get some dinner. We're hungry! :-)